


Now That's What I Call Meta: 2076

by AndeliaMaddock



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: 69, Anal, F/M, M/M, Other, Vaginal, fanfic within a fanfic, i wroteit it me, junkrat is a lil creeper, junkrat is mouthy af, junkrat plays a matchmaker in this, real person fanfic, really meta, trans people written by a trans man at one point in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:17:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8138777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndeliaMaddock/pseuds/AndeliaMaddock
Summary: Junkrat learns about real people fanfic. He finds out that people 'ship' him with many, many people (and omnics), in lots and lots of uncomfortable ways.Of course, he wants in on this in as many ways as he can.He ships a few teammates together, in a misguided attempt to help them become the match made in Hell he wants them to be.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me, for I have sinned...  
> Also, I didn't write out most of the pairings tagged above to a full degree, but I hinted at them, and that means I wanna tag 'em so no one goes "Oh no, I hate any omnics with Junkrat/no fun allowed!"
> 
> ;D

“Hey, lookit this. Just found a story online, what puts the shitbag runnin’ America shackin’ up with the Prime Minister.” He cackled, and leaned back in the leather chair, feet kicked back, eyes on the cracked overheating laptop that burned over his thighs comfortably. “It’s got sources and everything. I’m pretty convinced.”

 

Roadhog stood with a grunt, and stepped over to Junkrat’s spot, then heaved a sigh and leaned in to look. “That’s Archive of Our Own.”

 

“Yeah, some nice lil archive site, puts the good news. The juicy bits.”

 

“It’s a fanfic site.”

 

“Yeah, the good news. Some really hot stuff on here. Lookit this. Got me thinkin’ ‘bout shitty Suit worldleaders in a different light, it does.” He flicked to a story between some Senator and a Chancellor. “Just look at that. Two blokes who just wanna get together, but everything’s set against them, what with what’s happening to the Union.”

 

Hog sighed, and flopped back down on the couch. “If you say so.”

 

“‘Course, had a fright when I looked ‘em up online for pictures. Some things, words are better than pictures, you know?” Junkrat bookmarked it, and moved on. “S’nice to see someone finally telling the saucy secrets of the world.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.”

 

“Whatever. Least I’m not reading one of those ridiculous novels you do.”

 

Hog snorted, and slapped his historical romance down. A buff man holding a smaller man displayed triumphantly on the cover, both men shirtless, of course. Maskless, his large eyes narrowed intensely on Junkrat’s form.

 

“Trying to get closer to you, but I don’t give a shit about history. I want the real stuff, ok? Is that alright, Mate?”

 

“You realize that’s… You know what. Fine. Here. Let me send you something. Then leave me be.” He pulled a smart phone from his pocket, and very carefully aimed the attached stylus to tap out a message and send a link to Junkrat. “Enjoy reading your trash.” Book in hand, phone in pocket, he stomped off towards the door, and out into the hallway, on his way towards the Common Area, likely.

 

Junkrat settled into the chair, but he felt frustration coil up his slumped spine, and he clicked the link and scowled. The scowl loosened, and he blinked a few times. “Jamison ‘Junkrat’ Fawkes/Zenyatta.”

 

“That never happened.” But it was on the same bloody tabloid site. Maybe they were just trying to get hits, trying to make the news. But there it was, tagged ‘This totally happened, you guys’ and ‘Seriously, all the sexual tension it could make me melt.’

 

“Never fucking happened.” But he clicked on it, despite the tags, despite the lurch in his belly that told him to turn the fuck back and never talk about this news site again.

 

\--~~--

 

“I didn’t need your help back there.” Junkrat wiped sooty hands off on his ripped jeans. The smiley face bomb smoked, and he pat out the fire with his mechanical hand. It’d be fine, but it’d be good as new if he fixed it up. “You shouldn’t’ve gone off the point, Bot.”

 

“But, Jamie, how could I not assist you? You were injured. You could have died.”

 

“Then let me die. Better ‘n’ a bloody omnic givin’ me a goddamn healin’ I don’t bloody well need you bolted bloke.”

 

“You were very bloody, my friend. But I don’t understand why you say that word so much.” His voice monotoned.

 

\--~~--

 

“Don’t talk like that. Fuckin’ stereotypes. That’s a goddamn cliche. Even that bag a bolts don’t talk like a stupid computer.” He reclined further back, and scowled, thick brows knit together, at the screen.

 

\--~~--

 

“I don’t know where you think those balls are going.”

 

“You’re torn. I can tell. I need to heal you.”

 

“Keep them away from me, you drongo!”

 

\--~~--

 

“Don’t know a goddamn person in the whole bloody world what uses that word as much as this ‘Junkrat’ in this stupid tabloid.” He scrolled down a bit, unable to put his laptop away.

 

\--~~--

 

“Relax, I only mean to help you.”

 

“I-I don’t need an omnics assistance, you stupid pile of mechanical scrap metal.” Junkrat clutched the pillows, and sighed out as their warm metal fingers slid smoothly, without resistance, along his tense back. It worked out knots and kinks he hadn’t even known about. “I hate all omnics. You’re all the trash that turned my home into a Waste.”

 

“I want nothing but the best for you, no matter how you feel. If you’d like me to stop, I will.”

 

But he couldn’t deny the calming warmth the robotic hands provided. His weary body gave way to a quiet comfort, and his mouth stilled in lieu of allowing the robot to continue with his healing work.

 

“Then I shall continue,” Zenyatta said after a bit, and he heated up his metal fingers just a bit, and continued to work his way through the tense shoulders, until Junkrat was fully pliant underneath him.

 

“You’re not so bad, for a damned machine. You’re a credit to your kind.”

 

“I am no better, nor worse, than any other omnic. We are all brothers together. You only need give us a chance.”

 

“All brothers together, then you’re as bad as the ones what destroyed my home, killed my--”

 

\--~~--

 

Junkrat pressed the laptop closed and rested it on the worn leather arm rest, and stared up at the speckled ceiling. He was fine, he was fine. His Mom.

 

He was fine.

 

Fine fine fine.

 

\--~~--

 

“And man has done much damage. To each other. To the planet. To themselves.” Zenyatta worked the warm oil into the junker’s rough dry skin. “If we held each individual up to the crimes of their group, we would both hate one another.”

 

“I do hate you.” But still, he remained relaxed under the touch, calmed by how they touched, by how they were so soothing.

 

“Could you ever feel different about me?”

 

\--~~--

 

“That’s fuckin’ dumb. ‘Course he’s not gonna feel different, you’re an omnic, anyone with more than half a brain would see that.” But he adjusted himself in the seat. Leaned into the screen a bit.

 

Piss. 3% charge. He ambled on over to the desk, plunked himself down, and plugged in the charger in the laptop Hog’d gotten him for whatever that gift giving occasion had been. Birthday, that was right.

 

It was nice to get a birthday present. It was nice to be remembered, treated well.

 

4% and he rested a bit easier, though with more pain in his bony ass, seeing as how the chair was a sturdy metal piece a shit that Hog had gotten for himself. Damn thing could hold an elephant, but the elephant wouldn’t wanna stay in it too long, that was sure as fuck.

 

\--~~--

 

“Listen, Zen, it ain’t about you. It’s… it’s the principal. Humans… humans ‘n’ omnics, they ain’t meant to be together.” But Junkrat rolled over, faced the metal one who looked down at him with so much expression, despite how he only had a metal faceplate and no real lips to look at, no eyes to examine the colors of and compare them to stars.

 

“But you’ve enjoyed my company, haven’t you?”

 

“You’ve been. Can’t complain. These last few days, alone with you, it’s been alright. But I can’t be with an omnic.”

 

“Can’t, or won’t? If you tell me no, I will press no further, ever. But if you tell me no, that is all I will know.”

 

An ultimatum, and he couldn’t hate Zenyatta for it. Days he’d helped Junkrat, healed him when any other omnic with even two charges to create a thought would have let him rot in that mine shaft. Would have left him to die.

 

He’d have left Zen to die in a moment, and he’d have laughed.

 

Funny, how even just a few days could create a lifetime of memories.

 

“Jamie?”

 

“How come you never call me Junkrat?”

 

“Would you prefer I did?”

 

“I-I don’t know, Zen. Jus’, ain’t it a bit weird, what with you pullin’ out the real names instead a the nicks?” He sat upright, eyes focused on the glowing blue orbs over what served as visual sensors. “Everyone calls me Junkrat, always.”

 

“If you prefer it--”

 

“Like the way you say Jamie.” The Junker who’d not known the gentle touch of another for at least a decade, tugged Zenyatta closer by the shoulders. “I like you. For an omnic.”

 

\--~~--

 

“What sonuvabitch wrote this drivel? I’ll rip their hair out like I did my own!” He didn’t slam the computer down, he’d learned after three cases and an hour long lecture that he wasn’t to do that. But he wanted to. Metal fist crashed down over a sheaf of scrawled papers and some photos Hog’d taken. “I’ll hunt ‘em down. They think they can just…” Eyes caught on the next sentences. He slowly settled back down into the chair, and began scrolling again, words caught in his dry throat, tongue lapping at his lips.

 

“Bastards…” He finally managed. But he had to adjust his cut off jeans a bit beneath the warmth of the laptop.

 

\--~~--

 

“I am not good ‘for an omnic’, Jamie.” But the tone wasn’t chiding, it was softer than usual.

 

Fascinating how the longer Junkrat spent with his new omnic companion, the better he got at distinguishing the different tones. He grinned, and leaned his forehead against theirs. “Then you’re good. I guess. I could handle admitting that. Just for you.”

 

“Maybe in time you will understand more about omnics. I hope so.” He angled his robotic head down just a smidge, and rubbed the glowing orbs against Junkrat’s forehead. “I care for you.”

 

\--~~--

 

End of chapter 10.

 

Junkrat pressed the next button. Chapter 11. Of bloody 27. He bit at his lips, and glanced to the door. Damn thing was ajar. Anyone could just amble on in like a cockwaffle, stare at him reading this trash story that never fuckin’ happened and what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t exactly get up, not in the middle of the damn thing.

 

He didn’t slam the computer. He didn’t. He stood slowly, with careful breaths, and stalked on over, and headed into the kitchen for a preparation snack, and to give his device time to charge.

 

“Ah, hello, Jamison. I’m preparing a soup, would you like a bowl?” There that omnic fucker floated, just as the story had so intimately detailed.

 

Was Zen really warm to the touch? Junkrat had never thought about it before. He’d always just assumed all omnics were the same, and that they were all cold hunks of metal. Maybe the processing made him warm, or maybe it was all about healing warmth. Whoever had written that garbage story, under a garbage fake person name (the coward) had clearly been with an omnic before. They said things… described things.

 

“Are you alright? You look a bit flushed? Do you need some water? Please, sit down, let me take care of you.”

 

He didn’t fight too much, as Zenyatta lead him to a more comfortable kitchen chair. He sat limply, and leaned himself back, right leg drawn out, left leg tucked in closer to the chair he draped himself over. “‘M fine you know.” He looked anywhere but at the other.

 

Their hands were warm. He wondered if the forehead was too, perhaps from the glowing circles that dotted the weird bots visage?

 

“Are you certain? You seem a bit different, though I cannot place in what way. May I examine you?”

 

“N-no way! That’s how it starts. First you examine me, then you massage me, then suddenly I’m tellin’ you I like you, and I don’t! So you can bloody well piss off then!” Up he went, and across the room he kept on. Soup and snack be damned.

 

He wouldn’t fall into that trap.

 

\--~~--

 

“God, who knew an omnic could do this?”

 

“Why does it surprise you? I was built to bring peace to humans in every way. No matter the method.” And if an omnic could purr, he did, an artificial whirr of his motors around the voice Zen put out. “Do you enjoy my administrations?”

 

Junkrat tossed his head back against the soft pillow, and clutched at the sheets. “A course I do. Don’t… don’t act like you don’t know it. I ain’t gonna beg for more, you know.” Determination, stubbornness, a challenge; it all blended together in his own higher voice.

 

“Do you want more?”

 

“I just said I wasn’t gonna beg! Clean out that hard drive a yours and listen to what I say.” The implication of that one word flushed through his already reddened tanned face. He shifted a bit, and looked away.

 

“How can I clean it, when it is in use?” Zenyatta increased his motions, faster he moved, deeper his silicone clad cock drove in. “If you ask, you will receive.”

 

“I won’t beg.” Junkrat grit sharp teeth together, and stared up at the plain ceiling, unable to focus on much but the pleasure, and unwilling to stare at them and make it all the more awkward for him.

 

“I can give you what you want.” Warm fingers clutched and kneaded at the flesh on Junkrat’s shoulders. “If you only ask.”

 

“I… I ain’t gonna ask.”

 

The length began to vibrate. One hand slid down, and began to work at Junkrat’s cock with careful, delicious, strokes. “If that is what you choose. Do tell me if I do something you dislike.”

 

Pants through lungs that had long since blackened with smoke and soot. He grunted, and shut his eyes. Fingers vibrated too, ever so slightly. And with that, and the cock in him that brought him so high, he could hardly handle it all. “Zen... “ He wouldn’t beg. He couldn’t. But his own cock twitched with need, and he felt his abdomen flex and shift with the sensations that rippled through him. So close, so close.

 

And it all ended, or at the least, stilled. Zenyatta’s mechanical hips, so fluid and quick before, halted right up at Junkrat’s entrance.

 

For a moment, Jamie just imagined that Zenyatta himself came, and he simply wished to savor it, fully within. But moments passed, and that face plate continued to stare down at Junkrat.

 

“W-why’d you stop?”

 

“Would you like me to do something different?”

 

Oh, that was the bot’s angle. He had pride, of course he did. And Junkrat sighed, and nodded. “C’mon then, finish up. ‘S’not right to leave a fella hangin’ like this.”

 

“As you wish.”

 

“Please. Say you’re all about pleasing humans… cut ‘em off right at the come like that.”

 

There was no laughter, no smile, no real way to indicate that was what Zenyatta was doing.

 

But the smirk was palpable, absolutely. It dug directly into Junkrat, and almost made him say something more, except that Zenyatta picked right back up where he’d left off, and brought Junkrat so very close to completion. “You… smug bastard.”

 

“I don’t understand how that insult applies to this situation. Then again, you seem to use insults wherever you choose. Such an interesting human.” And it came on the back of a mechanical hum, and at the end of such rough, yet wonderful, thrusts and jerks of length and hand, in and on Junkrat’s body.

 

“Fuck off, and get me off, Mate.” Junkrat had never felt this tight sensation in his body before, never needed it quite so much. He felt so high, like he could never come down unless Zenyatta let him, eased him down on a cloud of lust.

 

Zenyatta obliged, and it was not long before Junkrat came, in spurts over his tanned abdomen. A few moments later, Zenyatta removed himself and lay beside Junkrat, on his stiff back.

 

Before Junkrat could think, he did what was natural. He curled up against them, and rested his head on their shoulder. A bit hard, so he pulled a pillow over, and cuddled in. “Maybe you ain’t so bad at all.”

 

“Maybe?”

 

“Maybe you’re even… a decent sort.” He pulled the covers up over their bodies. He fell asleep shortly thereafter.

 

\--~~--

 

He shut his laptop, and crawled over into the bed next to Roadhog. Let the damn fanfic rot. He didn’t pay attention to the stiffness in his shorts, he just kept them on, and curled up against Hog.

 

“You liked it.”

 

“You shut your mouth. I never did a damn thing with a fuckin’ omnic, ‘sides blow ‘em--”

 

“You blow omnics?” A sleepy joke.

 

Junkrat shoved them hard, and smirked when they grunted and rolled onto their belly. “You know damn well I wasn’t finished talkin’.”

 

“Yeah. Did you like it though?”

 

“It… I mean, I’ll admit it was well written, but it was so outlandish as to be completely unbelievable. Plus, it was a big smear against my name! Slander, Libel, one a those, and I ain’t too keen on the person who did it!”

 

“So write a review.”

 

“A review?”

 

“Tell them what you think. I don’t care. I’m going to bed.”

 

Laptop back on his thighs, he ignored salty groans, and proceeded to go through the step by step process of signing up for an account.

 

“Jamie.”

 

“You’re the one who started me on this road.” He wanted coffee, but he had a review to write. He clasped his hands together, and enjoyed the preparation crack he made. “Dear author of this article.”

 

“It’s not an art--”

 

“Dear author of this article. Your story was plain offensive. I can’t even imagine how you get out of bed at night--”

 

“Jamie! It is 4 am. We have work. We can’t do this.”

 

“Coffee does wonders.”

 

“Coffee makes you respawn three times as quickly.”

 

“Good, means I’m more effective!”

 

“You know what I mean! You die more. I die more. Go to sleep!”

 

“First off, I have to say, as Jamison ‘Junkrat’ Fawkes myself, I am enraged by the flippant use of--”

 

“I will break that computer.”

 

“Fine! I’ll write it tomorrow, you big Stuffed Rump Roast!” Laptop slammed shut, cursor still on the review he’d carefully pecked out a bit of. He set it aside, charging on the dresser beside their bed, and curled up closer to his Hog. “Still can’t believe someone thinks I’d ever get with an omnic.”

 

“People ship you with everyone.” Hog grunted and pulled the blanket up higher.

 

Ship? Everyone? The whole team?

 

Junkrat bit his bottom lip, and pressed his front against Hog’s back. “I don’t know why you know this stuff.”

 

“I’ve been around a long time, Jamie.” Dreamy voice, low rumbles that quickly shifted back into snores and sighs.

 

Was there more to this stuff than just that one long departure from reality? He couldn’t sleep, but he did wake up, barely a moment after having shut his eyes. Piggy alarm clock squeals. Ugh. He slapped his metal hand over it.

 

Oops. The squeal rose high, and broke down. At least no more squeals.

 

Roadhog grunted and shoved him. “You didn’t even take those off last night?”

 

“I was busy.”

 

“We have work to do today.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, get off my ass, Mum.” Out of bed, and to the door. That was one benefit of being dressed when he went to bed, with his limbs all attached. He had less prep time than usual. “C’mon, my Tender Slab of Bacon.”

 

“I’m naked, and you need to comb your hair.” No animosity, just quiet tiredness. Mako slowly shuffled out of bed.

 

It took too long, watching Mako get ready. He ran towards the mess hall, and settled himself on down beside Lucio and Zarya. The day could begin. He was ready, he was ready.

 

But all day, his mind flitted about more than usual. Hog blamed it on the lack of sleep.

 

He blamed it on the others. And the ideas that jettisoned themselves about in his head about what sorts of nonsense they all got up to in their down time. How real were some of the other stories he saw listed? He needed to know.

 

Even the alluring call of bomb blasts and gun powder rich in the air didn’t soothe him and bring him back to reality. He thought too much of what the screen might show him.

 

He didn’t even eat dinner, he was off quick enough to his room, to the recliner in the corner, laptop settled where its name suggested.

 

Junkrat and mystery pairing. Didney Princess AU.

 

What the fuck was a Didney Princess AU? Australia? He’d know if Australia had any Princesses, Princes, and anything else of royalty, this was definitely a lie story.

 

He tapped it.

 

\--~~--

 

Jamison ‘Junkrat’ Fawks stepped lightly through the wasted Outback. On a long-forgotten trail he tread, towards what, he was uncertain, other than trees and bushes that gnarled and lizards that skittered along the dusty ground.

 

A bird alighted upon a wispy branch, and chirped at him.

 

“Bit of an odd one, out here all alone. Don’t look native to me.” He strode closer, stalked the thing.

 

It peered at him with obvious intelligence, and no small bit of curiosity. It chirped a few more times, then glanced over its shoulder. There, in the distance, stood a tall tower. It hopped down to a lower branch, and chirped with more urgency.

 

“You’ve got something for me then? I’m always searching for a good treasure.” So close now, he stood before the bird at full height, and regarded its yellow feathers, and lovely hints of green and bright orange that sprouted from the sunny yellow. “What a beaut ya are, too.”

 

It preened and showed off its wings, with a beak that pulled at feathers, and smoothed them down.

 

He reached his left hand up, to stroke the bird.

 

It flittered down to his pointer finger, and perched itself casually along his second and third knuckle. Beak so near his face, it opened it, as if to say something. Then, it cast another glance towards the tower, and flew off, following the currents of wind.

 

“Well, I ain’t about to ignore the signs. Ya got something for me, hidden away, ain’t’cha?” So his single boot and peg leg carried him over the desert towards the slanted tower. Something bright shone in the distance, reflected and metallic and in front of a large open window.

 

So he followed, maybe something only a fool would, but he’d learned that birds, lizards, and dingos had a lot more information for him than plenty of humans he’d ever been about, even other Junkers. And with how much animals seemed to get on with him, he’d be just fine.

 

\--~~--

 

“It’s like they’re really there. It’s like they see me. That’s so accurate it hurts.” He scrolled down a bit further, his eyes unable to pull from the screen.

 

Until he saw the beginning of the description. He looked away, just for a moment, just to give him time to relax, to trust in this story to not lead him into a meltdown.

 

\--~~--

 

Their head held a single bright blue light in the center, like a shining jewel. Decadent metal held that jewel in place, unsullied, despite how the desert weather was. It leaned out the window, and seemed to peer down at him.

 

One large gun arm remained at their hourglass shaped metallic side, while their fully functional arm raised and waved down. Happy little greeting beeps sounded.

 

\--~~--

 

“I’m going to kill them.” Not Bastion, for once not Bastion. “Why is everyone putting me with omnics? This is… this is a fucking travesty, I’ll wring their necks. Probably fetishizing omnics doing it, the freaks.”

 

Scroll, scroll. A wicked grin slashed over his face. Yeah, bomb the fucker.

 

\--~~--

 

Down tumbled the bricks and mortar, and down came the beautiful Bastion unit. It landed steadily on its two pronged feet, and rose up to full height to examine Jamie, now covered in dust and rubble, about thirty feet back--

 

\--~~--

 

“Fuck you, I don’t give a shit about feet.”

 

\--~~--

 

\--from the area where the building had collapsed.

 

The bright bird alighted on Bastion’s shiny head, and preened itself once more, happily unharmed from the impromptu explosion. It chirped, and matched the tone of the beeps that Bastion made over at Junkrat.

 

“Glad you weren’t harmed in the fall.”

 

\--~~--

 

“Shut up, you fuckin’ cardboard cutout drongo. I’d never say that to a bot. I’d’ve cheered if he busted his bolts, even if he is made of gold and platinum in this.” He wanted to press the back bar. Wanted to get safely out.

 

But 16 chapters ‘Didney Princess AU’ called to him. Only 15 chapters to go.

 

Roadhog brought in a plate of cheese and crackers, then leaned over for a kiss, and saw the title of the story. “You shouldn’t be reading that.”

 

“I’ll read what I want.”

 

“I mean, it’s u-- you know what. Never mind. Enjoy.”

 

“I will!”

 

“It’s your life. Eat something.” And he turned right back towards the door, leaving nothing but doubt and a cheese and cracker plate in his wake.

 

Junkrat scowled at the door, but proceeded with the story. Chapter after chapter, he wanted to quit, yelled certainly, and mashed cheesy crackers into his open maw, but he couldn’t stop.

 

Until he got to the final author’s note. “Sorry, guys, this is unfinished. I’ve got a lot of work and school and I need to focus on those right now because I don’t have enough money. If you want, you can follow the link to my blog, and donate! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed what I do have!”

 

Unfinished.

 

Four hours wasted, his eyes unable to pull for long from the dim-lit screen, his back sticky and sweat-pasted against the leather recliner, cracker crumbs in his cut-offs, and this story blinked at him unfinished.

 

The gall of it.

 

He clicked on the link, and pressed onto one of the tabs on the dark site. Pay me for stories! Seemed apt enough to be the right link. Onto it he went.

 

Reasonable prices, he figured. Not that he had any idea how this whole damn thing went. He clicked on another link, halfway down, and it took him to an email exchange spot. Alright, his fingers cracked and he focused on the screen.

 

“dear miss madocki,

you left me pinin after a goddamn fuckin omnic and i hate you for that

i dont know what a Didney is but i dont much care i read through your story right up until that bloody unfinished end and i gotta say you managed to get me wantin to know bastion a bit better now that ive read this

not sayin i wanna be his prince or nothin

And also you didnt write me right in a lot of places but i can overlook that (or hehe overwatch that as the case is) because of the skill and obvious pleasure you wrote with in the entire thing

for the most part this bizarre world that could never happen in reality was a lovely one to read and so i have donated 600 dollars states money so you can finish it up to my liking

Please respond quickly so i can know that youre working on this story

Ps do not fuck with me mate

I can find out where you live

Yours truly Jamison “Junkrat to you!” FawkEs with a fuckin E holy shit spell my name right I swear to god.”

 

Send.

 

He relaxed into the chair, closed his burning decades old refurbished laptop, and set it on the arm rest.

 

Hog glanced over, and grinned. “Do you have to threaten them?”

 

“How’d you read that from over there in bed?” Magic, sometimes he swore it was magic.

 

“Must be magic.”

 

Junkrat peeled himself away from the sticky leather and flung himself towards Hog. “Yeah, probably.”

 

“Or you say every other word out loud.”

 

“Well, I gotta! I don’t know how you people read without talking. Anyway, why’re you still awake? Isn’t it your bedtime, Aged Bacon?” He crawled over Hog’s belly, and propped his face up on elbows that rested on Hog’s chest. He regarded his partner with an obviously angelic smile.

 

“I can’t sleep when you’re on the computer if you’re reading, Jamie.”

 

“Well, I’m just reading you now, so sleep away.”

 

“You. Ah.” Hog chuckled.

 

The rumbles made Junkrat’s belly do happy flips, and he collapsed further over Hog, and gave him a slick kiss, right on those laughing lips.

 

Hog rolled them both over, and arched one bushy brow down at Junkrat. “What are you reading now?”

 

“You’re in the mood for some fun. And you’re on top tonight.”

 

“Mmm. Maybe you’re not so bad at reading me.” Kisses to Junkrat’s throat, to his freckled shoulders, to his chest. His large frame could do so much damage, but it was the picture of calm right then, careful in every graceful movement. Large hands kneaded and stroked Junkrat, over hips, and thighs, and shoulders.

 

Junkrat fell away into pleasure soon after. And not so long later, he found himself snuggled up and almost asleep, held in the crux of Mako’s left arm.

 

\--~~--

 

“We could be doing anything right now.”

 

“I’m reading.”

 

“I know, you keep talking to yourself.”

 

“I’m busy, Mate!” A middle finger, but no real vitriol. Just eyes that scrolled as quickly as the cursor clicked the down arrow.

 

Junkrat/Junkrat.

 

He had to know. How could that possibly work? Sure, he’d considered it in off moments, ‘would you fuck yourself?’ and the answer was an obvious ‘If I didn’t, who else would!’ with a chorus of laughter, back when he was younger. Now the answer was yeah, but I got Hog, don’t need to do it just with me hand.

 

He’d never imagined an actual himself version. Two of him. Hog would be in Hog Heaven, or maybe Hog Hell, if that were to happen. But this one didn’t seem to have his loveable Pigman.

 

\--~~--

 

“Care for a hand job, Handsome?” Junkrat grinned and winked rather lewdly at himself in the mirror. What a good looking fellow.

 

Out crawled a Mirrored Junkrat from the mirror. “Don’t mind if I do.”

 

The mirror shattered into millions of pieces and the handsome fellow put one fleshy and one metal hand on the silvery frame, and crawled out over the porcelain sink. He stretched as far as humanly (was he even human? Was the normal one?) possible, and settled down on the sink itself in a cocky grin and legs crossed. He seemed unconcerned with the shards of the mirror that could cut into a normal man’s skin.

 

“No, it cannot be! This is impossible! It’s me! Ya’re me!”

 

“Oh, sure, sure, I’m you. And ya’re me.”

 

\--~~--

 

“Ya. Re. Ya’re. Ya’re.” He kept trying to get that word out, but he couldn’t wrap his mouth around the letters quite right.

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“Ya’re me!” He devolved into giggles and clutched his belly. Fuck, it hurt to laugh too much. He scooted a bit closer in the bed, and nuzzled Hog. “Wanna read with me?”

 

“Jamie. It’s been days. Can’t you stop reading those?”

 

“No! I like ‘em.”

 

“I’m starting to think--”

 

“That’d be a first!” He clutched his stomach harder with his metal arm, and shook with the waves of laughter that rolled over him. Finally the scowl from his mate, and the pain in his belly, said it was time to read more.

 

\--~~--

 

“How could it be?” Hands pressed to Junkrat’s high, sculpted perfect cheekbones.

 

“It’s magic. Don’t question it.” He winked, and slipped down onto the broken glass, that crunched underfoot. “But about that handjob, Mate. Could use a good one.”

 

“But I’m the real one, you should be giving me one.”

 

“If you give me one, I’ll give you one!”

 

“Deal!”

 

A handshake, fits of laughter, and they strode out of the bathroom over crunchy glass, and towards the bedroom.

 

\--~~--

 

“This is disgusting.”

 

“I think it’d be nice. If they didn’t fuck up on the words so much.”

 

“Spelling’s alright.”

 

“Yeah, but the dialogue is stilted as fuck. Can you see me saying half these things?”

 

“Literally. I literally can.”

 

“Oh, fuck off, I’m not a genius like you people who can read quietly, alright?” He grinned over though, and scooted closer.

 

His Hog.

 

\--~~--

 

Junkrat lay over Junkrat. He pressed his cock right along his entrance. “This is what ya want, right Mate?”

 

“Oh, give it to me you bloody bongo.”

 

“Oh, Junkrat, you know just what to say to get my jewels shining.”

 

\--~~--

 

“Hey, I was reading that!”

 

Roadhog pulled his finger off the power button, shut the laptop over Junkrat’s hands (which retreated quickly enough) and set the laptop over on the nightstand next to the new alarm clock. “Done with that.”

 

“It was just gettin’ good!”

 

“It was not, and you know it!”

 

“Fine. But it was gettin’ worse in the best of ways.”

 

“Fine.”

 

Fine. But he giggled high, and pressed a kiss to Hog’s unmarred cheek. Where he could feel it. “Wanna give me a handjob if I give you one?”

 

“No.”

 

“Awww…”

 

“But I wouldn’t mind a blowjob. Less likely to pull my skin with that arm of yours.”

 

“Where there’s a will there’s a way!”

 

“Mm.”

 

“Fine.” A blowjob it was. He scurried over Hog’s firm, yet soft, belly, and positioned his eager bottom near Hog’s face. There it was, under the sheet, his prize. He leaned in, and gave it a long lick.

 

He was in for a very lazy day. Nothing better than sucking dick in the middle of it.

 

\--~~--

 

“Why would someone write this?”

 

“Eat your cereal.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” In two spoonfuls of the shredded sugar mess went. It was gloopy by the time he finally got to it. “Shwike--”

 

“Don’t talk now.”

 

“Ugh!” A swallow. Two swallows. He had a bit of a hard time getting it all down, but he did, and he waved his spoon about with all the returned passion his voice lent him, “Listen, look, Junkrat/Boba tea. Junkrat/Bombs. What the fuckin’ hell do people think I’m doing with the things I like?”

 

“Having sex?”

 

“Well, obviously! But I’ve yet to shove a bomb up my ass, ‘m’not bloody stupid. Usually.”

 

Roadhog snickered into his milk.

 

Junkrat elbowed him with his stump, and went right back to eating the mash that his cereal had become. Finished, he put the bowl where his laptop rest, and slid the laptop out from under it, and onto his lap.

 

“That’s all you do lately.”

 

“Well, I didn’t complain when you’d take hours and hours on your computer, clackin’ away and mumblin’ into that mic a yours, beggin’ for privacy.”

 

“You. You didn’t complain?”

 

“I didn’t complain much!”

 

“Really?”

 

“I. Listen. Listen, Mate. Listen.” He leaned in, almost conspiratorially. His left arm waved about in the air. “How about this? I read what I want, and you do whatever it is you do in your secret corner on your secret computer I can’t crack the password to.”

 

“No more complaints?”

 

“No, well. I mean, sometimes. Like, on weekends. Sometimes wanna drag your Bacon Butt out to the shops, get some boba, maybe buy an outfit or two, you know, the good stuff. But I’ll stop givin’ you shit if you stop givin’ it to me, right?”

 

“Mm. Fine.”

 

“Good.”

 

“You should look up ‘Junkrat/boba’.” And with that, Hog crawled over the foot of the bed, and tramped over to his computer across from the door. Sat down in his heavy chair, and relaxed his shoulders forward. A half a minute after he turned it on, large fingers already rapidly tapped along the oversized keyboard.

 

“You write like a horse gallops, Mate!” He cupped his fleshy hand to let it carry louder.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Not a compliment! It’s loud! ‘M’tryin’ to read!”

 

“Read out loud and you’ll drown me out.” Hog pulled on a pair of professional headphones, and started mumbling into the mic.

 

Damn. Junkrat grinned, and pulled himself up onto that site once more. Junkrat/Boba, eh? He could accept that. Hell, he could go for one right then.

 

First one he found was not the only one, but it was the most highly reviewed.

 

Summary: Junkrat takes a bath. Hog helps him out with it. Everything is delicious, and they both enjoy boba delight.

 

Aww, it was a nice little coffee shop one, like some a the others where he got a flat white, or any number of other drinks he’d recently been reading up on. He’d discovered quite a few nice new drinks to order.

 

“What would I need 36 boba teas for? Am I feedin’ an orphanage? Fuck them, what’d those lil shits ever do for me? I guess maybe one a ‘em might’ve been alright, but feedin’ alla them?”

 

“Just keep reading!”

 

“You shut your mouth! I am reading!” He scrolled a bit faster. “You keep writing!” Faster now, he didn’t want to read all the stuff in the middle. He wanted the answers.

 

Oh. Oh God. This was not a nice coffee shop ‘AU’.

 

\--~~--

 

“That’s right, suck me boba off. Get me nice ‘n’ clean.”

 

Schlurp.

 

“Yeah, c’mon Hog.” Junkrat leaned back, and dug his fingers through the long silver hair of his handsome Pigman. “You like that?”

 

The grin was wide over that scarred face. He leaned in, and nipped at Junkrat’s ear. “I like something.” He reached one massive hand down, and all but cradled Junkrat’s bottom in it, using the sweet mango tea to help him lift his partner. “The boba’s just an added benefit.”

 

“Should suck through my straw, Mate. I guarantee you’d like what I’d have for you if you sucked hard enough.”

 

“I’m feeling thirsty though.” And he pulled back, hands withdrawn from the other, to use the brightly colored orange and yellow straw in the sweet bath. He sucked, and slurped the liquid, and occasional boba. Lewdly, he sucked a few boba up, and halfway to his mouth, he paused the flow, and lifted it so the other end moved to Jamie’s parted lips.

 

“Mate.” He breathed it out on an exhale, and pressed forward to take the boba--

 

\--~~--

 

He closed the laptop and shut his eyes. Well, they’d done it. They’d made him consider what it’d be like to take a sticky sweet bath in boba, and have Hog feeding him, and potentially giving him a blowjob, if the tags in the fic meant anything.

 

He set the laptop aside to let it cool, and relaxed against his fluffy embroidered pig pillow. “Mate. It’s not even fair.”

 

“Liked it, huh?”

 

“I didn’t even finish! Wh-who, no, no, what kinda depraved monster could come up with something like that?”

 

“So, you never drizzled syrup on your dick and demanded I lick it off?”

 

“That was once! And I was high as a fuckin’ baloon ‘cause a that gas I got exposed to, that’s not my fault.”

 

“So the time you--”

 

“It’s like you’re trying to excuse a boba bath.” He shifted, and pulled the sheets over his stiffening cock. “There’s no excuses, alright?”

 

“Don’t you have an account on ao3 now?”

 

“Yeah, I should check. You know me, hate email.” But he went through his tabs, and found the all but ignored one.

 

Knuckles cracked, laptop open and whirring, he got to work on his first actual review.

 

\--~~--

 

[The shower room always made him a bit uneasy. It wasn’t that he really couldn’t stand to be washed, that he chose filth and smoke and soot over clean skin. It was that, where he’d grown up, getting ‘clean’ was less important than not being seen in some cases, and eating food. Survival didn’t demand that he look perfectly presentable and like nice society. Fighting didn’t either.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8101738)

 

Leaving the Wastes, a lot of things changed for him. For one, Boba became a thing. For another, he actually had to put on clothes sometimes. And get clean. And not constantly just do whatever he cared for.

 

Besides that all, being in a communal showering area, it made him feel a bit twitchy. A bit like anyone could come in, and take advantage of him at any time. Not that he’d let on about that, but a guy who’d lost a literal arm and a leg wasn’t really at much of an advantage in a slippery area like that.

 

Not that he thought it’d happen, of course. And his Hog would never allow it, being a pretty decent body guard at the bare minimum, and a damn fine one at his best.

 

Today, Roadhog did not accompany him. Which was fine, he’d just wrap up and tape his leg and arm, and he was fine indeed to take that ‘necessary’ shower that everyone harped on him about.

 

He stepped into the large changing room, and strode to his area of the locker room. He hummed that lovely overture with the Kabooms something he enjoyed calling out as he pulled out his roll of medical tape and a few long plastic limb bags.

 

Familiar whistling met him, matched his tune, and finally ended. Zarya strode up beside him with long confident steps over the slick tiles. “Hello. It is late, I should think I’m the only one in here at this time.”

 

He glanced up at her; she was all burgeoning flexing muscles, and bright eyes that lit at his gaze. He tried to keep his voice steady, “Well, like comin’ in a bit after the rest myself.”

 

“I do not mind it here so much. But it makes me feel… strange to shower with so many people.”

 

“Yeah, same, right? What the hell am I wantin’ to be absolutely surrounded by cocks and cunts for? I got one a my own, you know?”

 

“Ah, I do too.” She settled down on the bench beside him and reached into her own locker, on the bottom row.

 

“Who doesn’t, am I right? Though,” He reached back and rubbed at his tanned neck. “A few people’ve wondered if I blew my bits off at some point, what with how I never shower with no one.” He let out a bitter laugh.

 

“People don’t quite wonder that with me.”

 

“Yeah, well no, wouldn’t expect it. You don’t work with explosives as much as I do.” He gesticulated wildly, and almost smacked her in a broad shoulder. “Oh, uh, s-sorry ‘bout that.” Hunched a bit, he reached for the top button. “Could just wait until after you’re done for mine. If--”

 

“How will you shower by yourself?”

 

“Me? If I don’t uh, use a stool, then I just wrap ‘n’ go with these bags.” Tape, bags, leg lifted up real far in the air. A steady smile over his tanned features. “It ain’t so difficult. I learn what to do, you know.”

 

“How long have you had those for limbs?”

 

She never held back her words, and neither did he. She didn’t fuck around, pretending things like so many did. Plus, she had a fight with the omnics too, which made her more positive in his book. He grinned wider, and leaned in, “Four years. Well, not these ones. These are a newer model. Hog made me get ‘em. First ones I ever got, one was a leg I ripped from a clothes mannequin, and the arm was a broom handle. Tell ya what, that was a Helluva thing, it was.”

 

Laughter crackled between them, electric. It filled the room, worked its way outward louder than it would have in any place with less perfect acoustics.

 

He stood up, and stretched. Looked down at her, though, not very far. Such a tall woman. So nice and big. Just like he liked his anyone he spent time with. “Should I go first, or would you like to?”

 

“We can shower together.” She stood, and pulled off her overshirt, and began to peel off her tank.

 

And so it was. He looked away though, not one to be a freakish pervert in this particular way. But he smiled, wrapped his arms and legs, then began to peel off his own pants, and the ‘Bomb-ass’ boxers he’d gotten for Christmas from his favorite man.

 

She spoke first. “Oh.”

 

He winced at the surprised tone, and offered a glance over his shoulder at her. The look on her face said she saw him right where he’d hoped she wouldn’t look. The look her own eyes cast down at her body bid him to follow her gaze. Right to her own parts.

 

“Ah.” Surprise passed, and he nodded understanding, to match her own nod.

 

\--~~--

 

He took a breather, and slipped right out of his shorts, tossed them across the room towards the hamper behind the door, and went right back to work reading. Minutes passed.

 

\--~~--

 

“I don’t know, I am seeing hot right now.” A glimmer of a grin spread over her sharp face. “Should I come make it more?”

 

There had been days he’d considered something like this. Witty words he couldn’t quite parse with how quick his mind buzzed, laughter, physicality shared between two who had something in common with their bodies. He’d imagined it, though never with a particular.

 

She was intriguing, in particular. He stepped carefully over the wet, slick, tiles. His bagged leg pattered with the water that sprayed over it and dripped down along the material. “Why don’t you show me how hot it can get? Maybe I’ll like it that way.”

 

“Allow me to turn up the heat.” She reached one muscular arm out, and turned the water dial from lukewarm to a blistering medium high heat.

 

“And yours is still all the way heated.”

 

“I am used to it. It strengthens me.” She stepped closer, and pressed her body against his. “Feel how strong I am.” She thrust her hips forward, towards his own, until her length rubbed against his right hip.

 

The implication were clear, but even if it weren’t, he was tempted to touch. Never one to restrain himself much, he reached down with his bagged right hand, and gave her a nice long tug. “How’s the bag feel?”

 

“Strange. I like it.” Her own hands curled over his bony shoulders, and stroked nails lightly along pink flesh. “How is the heat?”

 

“It’s hot.” He laughed. “And nice. I’m not one to shy from the heat you know. I like things that are… on fire.” He reached his fleshy hand up, and guided her hand down to his gash. “How about you? Like that?”

 

“It is very nice.” She tugged them closer, and pressed their foreheads together. “I am not afraid to burn.” Fingers dipped in, and she bit on her bottom lip for a moment, and watched Junkrat’s face relax in pleasure. Then, she opened her mouth, and guided them together into a kiss.

 

When Junkrat pulled back, he licked his lips, and tightened his grip on Zarya’s length just a bit. “I love everything big, you know.”

 

\--~~--

 

Junkrat flopped back on the bed. “Ma-ate.”

 

“I don’t care what you were reading.”

 

“Maaaate!”

 

“What?” Roadhog ripped his headphones off and tossed them over his desk. “What is it?”

 

“Do you think… do you think I got a fetish for big things? Like, pig people and stuff?”

 

“You’re almost 2 meters.”

 

“Yeah, so?”

 

“Jamie. If you like things around your size, what’s the problem?”

 

“Think me ‘n’ Zarya could be a thing?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“I’m reading this one, and it’s real steamy. Literally. I’m gonna be redder than the Devil’s dick.”

 

“It’s not real.”

 

“Well, say that to me, sure, I know it. But I’m reading a story with my fuckin’ name, it feels pretty real. Anyway, I’m strokin’ her dick, and I say to her, I say, ‘I love everything big, you know’ and that sounds pretty fuckin’ accurate. I might say something like that to you.”

 

“You’re stroking her dick. And you’re thinking this sounds realistic.”

 

“Well, sure, and I got a twat in this, so what. I could see that. What, you couldn’t see her and me having different parts? Come to think a it, I don’t even know I’ve ever seen Zarya. You know. Not that it matters a bit. Her ‘n’ Mei, they’re tight as could be.”

 

“So are we, yet here you are, reading about you and Zarya.”

 

“Oh my fucking God, don’t be such a wuss, Hoggie Hog. My little Bacon Bits.” He set the laptop aside and slowly started towards his mate, cock between his legs, rising still from thoughts of the story. “My lovely Pork Tenderloin with a side of Ham Salad.”

 

Hog sighed, and rubbed at his forehead. Thick fingers worked over his temples. “Jamie.” As Junkrat approached, he quickly tabbed out of his document and brought up the homepage on his internet.

 

“What’re you doing?”

 

“I thought we agreed not to bother one another.”

 

“I’m not, am I? I’m just an interested partner, interested in knowing what you’re so focused on that you can’t play a little thought game with me.”

 

Hog lifted his arms and allowed Junkrat to slide into his lap. He offered a bit of a smile over his scarred features, and leaned in. “Are you really curious?”

 

“Dying to know.”

 

“You can read them when they’re all done.”

 

“Ugh. You’re so cruel.”

 

“The cruelest.”

 

“But I want to read it now.” He circled Hog’s right nipple with his left hand, and leaned up to give that soft double chin a kiss. “My favorite man.”

 

“Mm.” A shimmer of a smile, and Hog tilted his head back so Junkrat couldn’t see it as well. “And a harem of others, if your reading means anything.”

 

“Oh, hush up. I’m just… I dunno. Fascinated? Can’t figure out who the hell in their right mind would be interested in writing about me.”

 

“You’d be surprised.”

 

“I am! I’m bloody… famous. Like uh, like Lucio and whatnot, ‘cepting I don’t have any music or no talents except blowin’--”

 

“I know.”

 

“Will you stop that!” A cackle though, and a smack to Hog’s barrel chest. “You know I wasn’t done.”

 

“Would you like to be?”

 

“Come again?”

 

“I could make you do that.”

 

“Oh boy.”

 

“And give you something to do with that mouth.”

 

“Oh, you know how to sweet talk.” He pulled himself higher, and gave Hog a kiss, right on his large lips. The kiss deepened, and he adjusted himself so he could feel them in their overalls a bit better. He broke away for a moment, and laughed. “You never answered my question.”

 

“Do you like big things? Is it a fetish?”

 

“Yeah. Do you think so?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“A bit, yeah.”

 

“I think you like anything, if it likes you back. You could be friends with anyone, if you wanted to.”

 

“‘Ceptin’ omnics, of course.”

 

“Mm.” Dubious at best, but before Junkrat could question it, Hog pulled him into a tighter kiss, and wouldn’t let go, until he’d carried Junkrat right back to the bed, and lay over the other Junker.

 

They slept soon after, but in the middle of the night, Jamie found himself awake, and soon after, he was at the leather chair, clacking away on another review.

 

\--~~--

 

Junkrat slowly ambled into the room, tooth biting on his bottom lip, arms crossed tight over his chest.

 

“Junkrat!” D. Va waved from the table, and Lucio and Genji’s heads swerved enough to take him in.

 

He offered an unsteady smile, and uncrossed his arms a bit. Metal fingers had left a bit of a mark in his flesh. A stiff wave. “Heya, D. Va. Lucio! Genji! Everyone else!”

 

“Where’ve you been, man?” Lucio tipped back in his chair and grinned wide at the other. “You’ve been like, away for weeks.”

 

“Yes, if you hadn’t joined us each day for battle, I’d have assumed you were dead.” Genji glanced back to the other.

 

Hog, from his spot over beside Zarya and Mei, chuckled. His shoulders shifted and his belly rumbled with an unsounded laugh. “He’s been busy.”

 

Zarya elbowed Hog, and smirked. Eyes alighted on Junkrat, and she arched a brow.

 

Oh god. Junkrat stepped closer to D. Va and that group, purposefully avoiding Hog who’d clearly told those two about his. Activities.

 

Of course, they were laughing too. Probably normal stuff, they were a happy bunch, that’s why he liked them. Once he got over the initial bump of them thinking he was horrible, well, they still did, but he was growing on them. He settled in next to D. Va in the open space, and leaned back in the chair too, just like Lucio. “So, what’s been happening?”

 

“Why don’t you tell us what’s been happening?” She leaned into him and offered a smirk. “Your guy’s been soooooo quiet. I wanna know what you’ve been up to.”

 

“Oh, same old same old.”

 

“You haven’t hung out with us in forever.” Lucio plucked a crinkle frie from his plate and arched a brow over at the other.

 

“‘S’been like, what, two weeks?” Give or take. A whole week. Give a week. Junkrat snuck his right hand over and snatched a fry from D. Va’s plate.

 

“Hey!” A hit to his hand, and a bit of a recoil from the metal. “Get your own.”

 

“Just did!”

 

“That’s not fair!” Another smack, at his shoulder now. “Give me it back.”

 

“Too late now.” He finished his swallow and arched a brow. A challenge.

 

She caught him by both wrists and pulled him closer, until their noses touched. “Don’t do it again.”

 

The scene, in one of the fanfics, flashed over his consciousness. D. Va capturing Junkrat against a wall and between some crates. In the heat of battle, stimulating him with her suit. Forcing him to get hard, mocking him through her mech, telling him how dirty he was.

 

He pulled back and bit at his lip. “Ah, y-yeah. W-won’t do it again, Love.”

 

An arched brow, then a giggle. “Oh, have I upgraded from Sheila? What’s next? Sweetheart?” She tried her best to do his accent on the keywords, but it came out too nasally and high.

 

He chuckled, and rubbed hard at his upper arms. “Heh, yeah no. Just uh.”

 

Roadhog, Zarya, and Mei chuckled over in the corner.

 

It was probably just another joke, but he felt the flush over his cheeks. “You know, I think I’ll get some food and go.”

 

“No!” She held tighter to him, shook him at the shoulders. “C’mon, I haven’t even seen you in like, ten years.”

 

“Two weeks.” Lucio commented, though he nodded. “Listen, you do what you gotta. But we’ve been getting worried. And your dude isn’t telling us ANYthing.”

 

Well, that was a relief, at least. He squirmed a bit, and sat back in his chair, pulled his shoulders free from the other. “Alright, alright, listen, I’ll just. Uh, get some grub, and come sit on back down, right?”

 

“Yeah, ok, no more stealing my stuff.”

 

“Or you’ll what?” He grinned and leaned in. Oh. Oh, right, mistake.

 

She giggled and pressed her forehead to his. “Nerf you.”

 

He tugged back and offered an unsteady laugh. “Well, I’d fire in your hole.”

 

“How’re you gonna do that when I’d have you in pieces, scrub?”

 

“I can send my tire in from a long ways away. You might have good range, but I’ve got better.”

 

“Well, Lucio here would kick your ass while you were sending the tire!”

 

“What, are you ‘n’ Lucio a thing now? Is he gonna have your back every time?”

 

A quick glance over, and there was Lucio, grinning a bit and looking anywhere but at the two.

 

Hands up, “Hey, leave me outta this. I’m just trying to eat my fries.” And he popped another into his mouth.

 

  1. Va’s face lit up bright, and she laughed a bit higher than usual.



 

Oh. Definitely. They were definitely a couple. How cute. He chuckled, and completely ignored the rude bunch of bastards in the corner who were still laughing at something. Probably him. Maybe D.Va and Lucio.

 

Food, right, food. He plucked himself right up, and carried himself on over to the counter, and pulled out a tray, filled up a plate with the mashed potatoes that had been left cooling, and didn’t touch anything else. Couldn’t stand it when Reaper cooked, and he was fairly certain from the looks of everything else that was who’d done it. Too many spices he didn’t know, too many things he’d never had back home, and wasn’t used to yet. He might get there. Hog said he would, but...

 

He ate quickly, and paid more attention to their interactions than usual. Less words outta his mouth, more words from them. Lucio and D. Va, maybe not partners, maybe just crushing. But Mei and Zarya, they were definitely a couple. And, oh, there Reaper was, scowling even with the mask to hide it, so near Soldier.

 

Junkrat grinned, and jammed two spoons worth of cold garlicky potatoes into his open maw.

 

Maybe he’d give his old habit a bit of a renewal. He had money. He had time. He had… motive. Junkrat couldn’t keep the smile at bay at the thoughts, but he kept trying to hide it behind more potatoes.

 

“What’re you so happy about?” D. Va snickered and turned her head away. “And close your mouth! Gross!”

 

He did as asked, for once, and just gave a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders. He slung himself back in his seat, and licked his bottom lip.

 

Soldier leaned over Reaper, and offered a challenging smirk, if the wiggle of the brows meant a thing. Said something, but the mask covered his face too. But the eyebrows, the way the scar moved up, it told the story.

 

Reaper shoved him back. Growled something out.

 

Junkrat swallowed his final bite of food with a triumphant chuckle, and shoved himself away from the table, meandered his way on over towards the door, and offered nothing more than a sharp wave at the rest over his shoulder, and a call, “Probably won’t be around much this weekend either.”

 

“You went from hanging out every day to like, never!” D. Va, and kinda louder than usual, probably through cupped hands from the tone of it.

 

Another wave of his right arm, almost a tight salute then. “Trust me, you’ll like it. Think I finally figured out something you and Lucio have in common.” He didn’t even look back at them, he just kept right on his merry way.

 

“Uh.” Lucio, skates rubbing furiously, nervously, on the tiles. “Give us a little more to go with?”

 

“You’ll be the first ones to find out!” Soon they could all ship together.  And he was gone.

 

He could still hear Hog’s laughter.

 

Hog didn’t know though, there was no way he had any idea what Junkrat was on about.

 

\--~~--

 

“Hog, you’ve got arms wide enough to hold it, I don’t know why you’re being like this.”

 

“You won’t tell me what you’re making! And you could have grabbed a cart!”

 

“And I didn’t. And so what, you never question me when I make new badges for you. I could stop doing that…”

 

“Don’t threaten me.” A rumble, a roll of his words. Hog held the bolts of felt and cotton tighter.

 

“Wasn’t, was just making conversation. And anyway, you’re gonna like ‘em so just stop grumblin’ at me and cart the stuff--”

 

“If we had--”

 

“You can go back and get a cart if you wanna! I don’t care! But I need to have my hands free, an’ if you want me makin’ a present for you, you gotta stop gettin’ on my last nerve, Mate.”

 

Narrowed grey eyes, and a thin set to Mako’s lips, but he trudged off towards the front of the cramped, too bright, craft store.

 

“Bloody drongo. Givin’ me lip.” But he grinned, and quickly moved to pay for a bit this and that at the back register and ask her to hold it behind the counter and give it to him all for when he got all his bags.

 

She grinned, nodded, and couldn’t even face Mako when he came back around with a sour face and a cart with a slow squeaky wheel.

 

“You picked the one cart that’s a pain in the ass to hear.” Junkrat chuckled though.

 

“I’m used to it by now, living with you.”

 

She giggled more, covered her face, and set about organizing something behind and under the counter and trying not to be seen.

 

Hog snorted, but continued on towards Junkrat. “Can you just hurry?”

 

“Got mosta what I need, just wanna browse now, see if anything besides my favorite man suits my fancy.”

 

A glimmer of a smile, and Hog shrugged. “Wouldn’t surprise me if you bought everything, with how you get in places like this.”

 

“Yeah, well, who made you that homemade Pachimari, huh? Me. And you loved it. Never saw a grown man get so happy about a damned toy.”

 

“Look into a mirror once in awhile when you’ve got one of yours.” But the smile was back full force, and he nudged an elbow against Junkrat’s fleshy left one. “

 

“I don’t gotta look into a mirror. I already know I look perfect.”

 

Another snort.

 

Junkrat elbowed Hog this time. “Anyway.” And away he went, ready to finish up getting all the materials on the list, and to the lady he went, all smiles and winks, and he paid his money, and took his bags. All of them.

 

She winked at him after Hog had turned away.

 

He waved with a wide loop of his arm and a skip in his fleshy leg. “Wait for me!”

 

“You’ll catch up. You always do.” Hog carried most of the bags, but seemed unconcerned with the few Junkrat had deigned necessary to carry.

 

“Yeah, but it don’t mean you gotta blunder ahead.”

 

“Just come on.” But there was a bit of a smile in the voice, Junkrat was sure, even if he couldn’t see it.

 

“Alright, alright. Hold your panties up, my lil Ham Slider.”

 

“I don’t even know what that is.”

 

“Neither do I!” Laughter pealed out, and he followed quicker after Hog in the parking lot, his peg slapping hard against the asphalt.

 

\--~~--

 

 

Junkrat pulled a line of yarn through the soft felt, and grinned down at the final touch to his little Lucio doll. He held it aloft in his fleshy hand, and grinned at it. “You’re a good one, ain’t ya? Put you with Hana, when I get that naughty thing done.” He chuckled to himself and flopped up off the bed and ambled quietly over to Hog, who ignored him and kept bobbing to music and typing carefully on his computer keyboard.

 

“Heya, my Piggy Piggy Pigman!” But it was too quick. He caught a glimpse of the title over Hog’s gargantuan shoulder. “You sly bastard. I knew you were writing those stories too!”

 

Hog reared around and scowled up at Junkrat. “I don’t know what you’re--” He couldn’t hide it though.

 

Junkrat kept twisting and turning to read a bit more. “You’re… You’re BarbecueMaster?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re--”

 

“You can say that as much as you want!” He shoved the tiny plush Lucio into Hog’s lifted hands, and pushed his way onto their lap, so he could look over their shoulder and at the screen. “You are! You’re him! You son of a bitch, you shipped me with Lucio! And Reinhardt with Torbjorn! And a buncha others!”

 

“So I did. You read hundreds of pages of fanfic about yourself. I don’t see-”

 

“There’s a big fucking difference! And don’t forget who--”

 

“Why do you have a Lucio doll?”

 

“It’s a plushie, thanks. And I made it because uh, well, you know.”

 

“You’re going to make everyone, aren’t you?”

 

“So maybe I am! This is your fault, I never much cared about the goings ons of people beyond just talkin’ to ‘em!” He clung a bit closer, his hips ground against their chest, his knees on their thighs, his eyes focused on the screen, skimming the words. “Wait, what’s this other tab?”

 

“Which one?” Hog turned about a bit.

 

It made it so Junkrat couldn’t see anymore, so he had to flip about and settle in, sitting on Hog’s lap. He leaned in, and pointed at the tab, “That one. Rule 76.”

 

“Mm.”

 

“Don’t you ‘mm’ me, Mister Potato Pig! You give me an answer, you’ve been holding out on me with the good stuff all this time!” He squirmed a bit, and adjusted his ass over their wide lap. Much more comfortable. “That uh, that like those rules of the internet?”

 

“Something like that. This one has Reaper in it.”

 

“Heh, was thinkin’ ‘bout those two the other night.”

 

A single arched brow.

 

“Look, you’ve got 47 chapters of TorbHardt I don’t need your shit, ok?”

 

“And you obviously read at least some of those…”

 

“Piss in a bucket and drink it, Mate. I don’t need your lip. So what’re they gonna do together?”

 

“Repair old relationships.”

 

“Right, right, looks kinda like they keep getting there, and then one says or does something stupid and it’s all blown to bits and Ana has to get in the middle.”

 

A nod. “I could work it out in this, but…”

 

“They’re stubborn fucks, ain’t they? I mean, it’s Obvious to anyone with a fuckin brain cell to click with another that they want one another. And askin’ Ana and Reinhardt, those two used to be tight as, well, as us.”

 

Hog pulled him a bit closer.

 

“Exactly. I don’t wanna end up bitter ‘n’ angry at you. Everyone else, that’d be fine, but not you. So we gotta… assist.”

 

“We?”

 

“Listen, you fuckin’ read my review. I know now that’s why you were a little shit in the lunchroom.”

 

“My words aren’t--”

 

“Maybe they ain’t stiff! But you ain’t got the same flow as me, right? You got the descriptions right the fuck down, nice ‘n’ tight. But you gotta give ‘em more than that. Gotta make people feel like they’re there.”

 

“Do you want… to collab?”

 

“Dunno what that means, but maybe I could tell you a phrase here or there, to keep it from gettin’ stiff? You know, collaborate?” He grinned and looked over his bare shoulder at his favorite man.

 

Narrowed eyes, followed by a soft chuckle. Hog kissed him on the head, right between patches of hair. “Fine.”

 

“Good. You just, write whatever, and read it out when I’m gonna be helpin’ out, k? And uh, hey, what d’ya think about this Lucio?”

 

“His hair isn’t as even as Lucio’s is.”

 

“Yeah, was real hard getting it on. Guy’s got the best hair. Second only to mine, a course.”

 

A snort.

 

“Fuck you.” But he leaned up, gave him a kiss, and spun the chair about a few times before he leapt off and left Hog to his work. “Gonna try Hana next. She should be easier, her hair ain’t so tricky. Course, it ain’t as fabulous neither, but who would ever tell her that?”

 

“Not unless you want Nerfed.” Hog began to write again, little whispers into the sensitive microphone, and little words that blinked up on the screen.

 

\--~~--

 

“So, Reaper’s got Soldier 76 pressed up against the wall.” Hog read out a summary of his latest paragraph. “What now?”

 

“He’s gotta say somethin’ smart, like, ‘Just like old times, eh, Jack?’” Junkrat snickered, and finished with a few patchwork stitches on the front of Ana’s little plushie form. “Heya, almost done here, howzit lookin’?” He snipped the last bit of string, and lifted it up. “Think I got the outfit right?”

 

“Looks perfect.” A big thumbs up, and then Hog returned to writing the fanfic. “Can you make her hair come out a bit more?” He asked, while focused on tapping out words on the oversized keyboard.

 

“Mm?” Rat glanced down and squinted. “Oh! The little tuft!”

 

“Mm.” Hoad kept right on working.

 

And Junkrat went right back to work on his tiny beautiful Ana. “Should do Reinhardt next. And I don’t put him with Torbjorn.”

 

“The guy could use some love.”

 

“Eh!” Maybe. The guy was… ok enough. But he wasn’t sure about him. He’d have to have a think about it. Maybe talk to the guy, see what he did outside of work. He didn’t just wanna shove all the plushies together and say that was that. They needed to really fit.

 

Maybe Torbjorn could get with…

 

\--~~--

 

“Ok, listen, listen. So you take Soldier, and you make him push Reaper down, and he’s gotta have a good line, cause that guy’s got the good lines. He ain’t tryin’ to pretend to be somethin’ he isn’t. Something like uh…” He pricked his finger with the end of a needle and yelped, then jammed the pained finger into his mouth.

 

“Nothing says ‘I want you’ like a scream.”

 

He pulled his middle finger out towards Hog’s turned back. Then pulled his fingers out of his mouth entirely. “How about ‘I can see right through your--’ and then Reaper cuts in he’s like, ‘Of course you can, I’m made of smoke!’ and he just fuckin’ poof, there he goes.”

 

Chuckles, and a heavy shake of the head.

 

“It’s a good line!”

 

“It ruins the whole flow!”

 

“But imagine it. It puts a little playfulness in. Sure, they could just slam each other around, I mean, that’s kinda how we started… A little slap, a little more slap, a buncha tickle, then where’s it gonna go? They’ve got all the fighting, they’ve hit it out. Let ‘em be silly.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“Yeah. Good.” And back he went, humming and sewing up his little angry Hanzo doll to match the frowning Jesse McFreaking McCree plush he’d finished just a bit before. “Think Hanzo’s turning out alright?”

 

“You’re pretty handy with that needle.” Hog didn’t even look.

 

“I swear to god, if you keep on…” But he broke down from the threat and chuckled. “I am though, ain’t I?” And back to work he went.

 

\--~~--

 

“So, you don’t think the patch looks silly?”

 

“You made it really well. That’s more detail than I’ve ever seen you do.”

 

“Y-you really like it?”

 

“It looks great.” Two thumbs up, and Hog began to pour the steaming tea. “Do you want your boba now?”

 

“I’m so close to being done.”

 

“You could do both. Drink. Sew.”

 

“No, I’ll get it all over and--”

 

And the door opened. Slammed against the wall, and shut all on its own.

 

Junkrat sighed. “You know, four times you’ve done that. No one’s surprised anymore.”

 

“I didn’t ask you.” Reaper stepped closer. “I wanted to have some words.”

 

“Well, take ‘em. Words are free.”

 

“And apparently you’ve been writing them about me!” Clawed hands on the tablecloth, mask on and covering him up.

 

Junkrat glanced up from his spot sprawled on the floor by the foot of the bed. “Been writing a lot of words, ‘bout a lot of things. What business is it of yours?”

 

“...” A turn of the head, a perusal of the floor, littered with homemade plushies. “What. Is. This.”

 

“Obviously plushies, it’s not that hard. And they said you were one of the brightest in your time.” Junkrat finished the last stitch, and slowly rose to display it to Hog. “Lookit! It’s done! The best one! This is for you, Hogalog.”

 

“Perfect.” Hog wasn’t perturbed by the scene, or he didn’t show it at least. He just stood, moved to the cupboard near the computer desk, and pulled out another teacup and tiny plate. Set it right down beside where Reaper stood so angry, and proceeded to pour them some of the fresh brew from the Pachimari teapot Junkrat had gotten him just that last birthday. “Have a seat.”

 

“Are those meant to be likenesses of me and Jack?”

 

“Yeah, ‘course they are! They look like you enough, don’t they?” He set Hog down gently beside the mischievous stuffed Junkrat, and stood up on careful legs, to have a little stretch. “Wanna take a peek at these cuties?” He stooped down and brandished the two tiny round likenesses of Reaper and Soldier76.

 

“I don’t ‘peek’ at ‘cute’ things!”

 

“Right, fine, but that means either you’re saying you aren’t cute here, or that you are, and you won’t look. So which is it?”

 

If the mask allowed narrowed eyes to show, Junkrat was positive they’d go so narrow, as to almost be shut. Hell, maybe the guy would shut his eyes.

 

Junkrat beamed. “Wanna see ‘em or nah? I can put ‘em away.” He made them dance together a bit. Just a little wiggle, closer, then further apart.

 

“Give them to me this instant.”

 

He could accept a beg like that was the best he’d get. He stepped over lightly, avoiding the other toys, and handed them over. “So, you read a bit of our story, huh?”

 

“How could I not! You’ve made… a complete mockery of Overwatch. Between your ludicrous reviews, and your…”

 

“If you’re here to know what we’ve got planned next in the story, you can just ask, you know.” He settled down into the chair, and kicked his left leg up onto the tablecloth, and lay his mechanical one down on the ground. “We won’t tell anyone.”

 

“The last thing I want is for more of your… nonsense!”

 

“Right, so you don’t wanna know what happens at the end of the cliffhanger?”

 

Roadhog poured a bit more tea for himself, and offered some more to Reaper, though the cup was untouched.

 

Reaper shook his head, and pushed the cup away. “I didn’t come here for pleasantries! I came to…” His other hand still stroked the two soft creations in his lap. “What even made you write that? It’s complete nonsense.”

 

“Oh, I dunno. Hog had the idea, and so did I. Whole team thinks it, guaranteed. D. Va. Lucio. Definitely Ana and Reinhardt.”

 

Claws dug into the tablecloth.

 

Roadhog scowled. He gently nudged at the claws.

 

Gabe gave a soft sigh. “I’m your superior.”

 

“And this is our room. Our private space. There ain’t a single rule what says we have to let you be a dick here.”

 

“I’m not--”

 

“We wrote it because you two were a good couple, back in the day. Lotta bad blood. Maybe reality’s fucked, but fiction’s nice, ain’t it? Course, I’m a shit writer. I just said a buncha words, ‘n’ my lovely Hogface here put it all together. I did all the plushes though. Fancy pieces a work, ain’t they?”

 

Reaper put both hands on the two figures in his lap. “They are decent. Rounder than I’d expect.”

 

“That’s cause they’re supposed to be. It’s Chi-bees.”

 

“Jamie.” Narrowed eyes.

 

A cackle from Junkrat, and he sipped loudly at his chilled, though melting, boba.

 

“There’s too much between him and me. We couldn’t work. Not anymore.” Though, that mask seemed focused down on the two toys in his lap. Their faces stared up at him.

 

“Have you said this? To him? Said anything at all?” He tried, really hard, to keep his tone pleasant but honestly, people not just talking about things was one of the most boring tropes in fanfic, and he just wanted them to stop. Of course, this was real life, not fanfic. Still. The point remained.

 

“Why should I?” He stood.

 

The door opened.

 

Reaper was gone in a moment, and there stood Jack, full outfit on, posture clearly an attempt to intimidate.

 

Oh, but there Reaper was, smoky and small behind the door, with the plushies halfway between a tipped chair and the edgey man himself.

 

Junkrat waved with his boba arm, and grinned wide. “Well, speak a the Devil his fuckin’ self, Jack!”

 

 

“You. Don’t call me Jack. If there was ever a time you could, it was before you wrote that… twisted garbage about me. I should have you tossed into prison, where you two degenerates belong.” He slammed the door shut and held their gazes. Then he strode into the room, and narrowed his eyes on the two. Even with the mask firmly in place and his eyes concealed, the way his brows pulled down said it all.

 

Junkrat slurped at his boba and casually leaned a bit further back.

 

Hog kept holding his cup, pinky out. “Is that what you want?”

 

“O-of course it is! I’ll give you one chance to explain yourselves!”

 

“Y’know, if you kick us out, you’re gonna have to kick out at least six others. We’re not the only ones who write it. Not naming names, or nothing. I ain’t a snitch. Bet that bint Sombra could tell you though, if you don’t already know.”

 

Soldier stood in front of the tipped chair, and raised it up, pushed it in. “We’re not talking about them. We’re talking about you. You’re criminals, here because we allowed it.”

 

“Right.” Junkrat flipped his leg sideway off the table, and let himself fall forward, elbows on the table, grin settled and focused on the other. “But truth talk, just between you, me, Hog, and the rest of the room. You liked it, didn’t you? Can’t stand we left it on a cliffhanger. Must be killer, running off that tension. You play it out, every bloody day.” He tapped fingers along the tablecloth, and arched a brow. “Must be murder.”

 

“What would you know about tension?”

 

“You think Hog and I shacked up when we first got together all business like? It took me two fuckin’ years to get him to figure out I wanted him. Dense as a brick of ham, I swear it.”

 

Hog kicked him, lightly, under the table.

 

Junkrat kicked back, and kept his foot on that thick ankle, worked his way up it, played a bit at the knee. Nice sensitive knee it was, he loved how Hog always reacted to it so nicely.

 

“What I’m sayin’, is if you could get with Gabe, Reaper, whatever you’d call him, would you?”

 

He turned his head towards the bed, towards the plushies that littered the floor in various configurations of togetherness, and towards anything but them. “Too much has been said.”

 

“Sounds like pride talking.”

 

“And too many things have been done! He’s… not the man I knew.”

 

“Neither are you, I’m betting.” Another, quieter, slurp of his drink. He leaned even closer. This was it, the things he needed, the information he craved. The setup he’d planned for, and had Hog write about. Ready to be posted, ready to be correct.

 

“He doesn’t want me.”

 

“What if he does?”

 

“Did he say he does?” A glimmer of hope, even behind a hard edge of desperation, irritation. Both gloved palms pressed into the tablecloth, and he leaned over the tea and looked Junkrat straight in the eyes. “Did he tell you anything?”

 

“Yeah, he said he’s definitely still into you.”

 

“I never-- I mean.” Reaper stood tall, smoke billowing behind him. He stayed where he was.

 

The line of sight was clear, even with that visor. Reaper, then down, to the plushies, whose little hands touches, and back up to Reaper. Behind where the door had been before he’d shut it.

 

“You're losing your touch if you didn’t notice me. But then, you always were easy to sneak up on.”

 

“You’ve been here the entire time.” Soldier stepped forward. Heavy boots made contact with the hard flooring. “Hiding, like you always did. In the shadows.”

 

“And you always had to be the face, didn’t you. Well, it’s not such a pretty face now, is it?”

 

“Time changes a lot of things.”

 

Oh, piss on them both. Junkrat slurped his boba unceremoniously.

 

Two steady glares, and Roadhog’s foot caressing his ankle.

 

Junkrat smirked. “Are you two gonna take off the masks and make out, or what?”

 

“How dare you, you insubordinate--”

 

“There was a time, that was your favorite quality in Jesse.”

 

“That time’s passed.”

 

“You still like a challenge. You always have.”

 

“That’s why I was the leader of Blackwatch. I didn’t have a cushy job like you.”

 

“You came here for a reason.”

 

“I came here to get them to stop. Nothing more.” Reaper crossed his arms, now fully physical before him. He didn’t look in their direction, but towards the corner, at the computer and cabinet.

 

“If that’s the truth, then alright. But I came to see if… if they thought any of that stuff might work.” It came out faster, sharper than maybe he intended. But very sincere.

 

Good on him then.

 

Reaper’s mask aimed towards Jack. He stepped forward, and seemed a bit less certain, a bit less stubborn, in his posture. “Cheesy one liners and physical force? Since when has that worked on me?”

 

“Since as long as I’ve known you.” Closer now, their bodies so near.

 

“Things change.”

 

“But some things don’t.” Jack pulled Gabe into a forceful hug, and pressed their bodies so tight, so close.

 

\--~~--

 

“I told you it’d get them back together. I even had some of the lines right!”

 

“Jamie.” But Hog stroked at his belly, and nuzzled against his neck. “You meddle.”

 

“Yeah, but that’s a feature, not a flaw, Mate.”

 

“Mm. I could agree.” A kiss, and a bit of a nip along his collarbone. “I could have done without the line about how long it took for me.”

 

“Well it was accurate.”

 

“Was it?”

 

“Sure! I was trying to get you into my bed from day one! Nothing says ‘do me’ like blind terror from a guy huntin’ you down for your treasure, mowin’ over every other bloke what tried to steal it from me.”

 

“You’re a strange one.”

 

“Yeah, but I’m your favorite.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And you’re mine.”

 

“I know.” He gave Junkrat a kiss on the other side of his neck, and slowly worked his large fingers down Junkrat’s belly, lower, lower, until they played at his treasure trail and teased at the hem of his boxers.

 

“Was it accurate?”

 

Hands stilled. Hog murmured against his neck.

 

“You know, me sayin’ you were oblivious.”

 

“No.”

 

“But… I made it real fuckin’ clear! I said, point blank, how much I fancied you!”

 

“I. I liked you too.”

 

“Then how come it took so long for a good lay between us? Or, fuck, I’d’ve settled for a bad one, ‘s’long as it got the ball rollin’, you know what I mean?”

 

“I didn’t think it right.”

 

“Right? You murdered blokes for a living, and planned to steal my treasure and turn me in, deader than a rat on a stick.”

 

“And I didn’t think you were serious. You joked about everything.”

 

“I’d never joke about wanting you!” He twisted about, a bit uncomfortable in the position, but focused on the others open and expressive face. “Mate.” A softer tone, gentler, he scooted up and pressed his forehead to theirs. “Why’d ya think that?”

 

“A lifetime of it.”

 

“Anyone who doesn’t want you, they’re a fool.”

 

Lips smiled, but he couldn’t see them so much as feel them, with how close their faces were.

 

He ducked in for a kiss, and wrapped his one arm tight about their shoulders, as far around as he could manage. He eased closer, and settled his legs up against Mako’s pelvis. He parted from the kiss just long enough to manage a whisper. “I love you. Don’t ever want you forgetting that. Don’t… don’t wanna be like those idiots, make two other idiots write about us on the internet, all the world to see, before we get together.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“Alright? I just said I love you, and you’ve got ‘alright’ for me?” He pressed a tight kiss to those lips, then flopped over beside Mako in the bed. “That’s it, I’m going to bed.”

 

“Shut up.” A bit of a flush over scarred cheeks, a bit of a grin. “I love you too.”

 

“Mm, that’s the stuff. But can you back up those words?” He shimmied a bit, and pushed his boxers down enough to show just the tip of his stiffening cock.

 

A brow lifted, and a smirk sealed over those big lips. “Is that a challenge?”

 

“Oh, you know it. Show me what you can do, my lovely Bag of Bits and Pieces Bacon.”

 

“I’m going to start coming up with nicknames for you.”

 

“None as good as mine for you.”

 

“Probably not.” A sigh, and a roll over Junkrat, and a surprisingly careful move down his body, until his mouth was over the tip of Junkrat’s cock.

 

Fingers played gently at the silvery hair, and he let out a quiet moan, and relaxed into the hands of the man he trusted more than himself, any given day of the week. “You’re the best, you know.”

 

A murmur, probably of agreement,  and a long lick up Junkrat’s cock.

 

He could live this way, and grow old this way, for sure. He’d never let anything happen like what happened between those two. 50/50, an even split, an even partnership. He rolled his hips up, and let out a low whimper at how easily, and eagerly, Hog took him in.

 

“I love you.”

 

Hog pulled off, and smiled. “I love you.”

 

He could handle that. He wouldn’t be ashamed of that, hide that. He’d say it, and he’d mean it, and the day he stopped saying it, was the day he’d let himself get closer to being a proud old man who hid his feelings for bullshit reasons.

 

He sat up a bit, and pressed a kiss to Hog’s head. His Hog, and he was Hog’s.

 

That was all that mattered.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that, and you can always send me more prompts at my Overwatch blog if you like! <3 http://pansexualoverwatch.tumblr.com/


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